The first time I watched Lord of the Rings, I wanted nothing more than to be a gorgeous, willowy, and effortlessly cool elf who was, as nearly all eight year-old girls desired, married to Orlando Bloom's Legolas. In my late teens, I grew content with remaining human so long as I got the chance to swoon over Aragon. But now, at the wise age of almost-31, I know the truth: The greatest being that you could ever hope to be in Middle-earth is a hobbit. Fortunately, Tales of the Shire lets you do...
